Mother May I: The One Thing Mothers Need to Give Themselves Permission to Do
April 27, 2021
I don’t know if you’ve heard of the game called ‘Mother May I.’
If not, it’s a game where there is one person who is assigned as the “Mother.” The Mother stands at the opposite end of the room, field or area of choice with her back turned. The other players ask the “Mother” for permission to make certain movements, but they must say “Mother may I” before making each request. And, the “Mother” either says “yes” or “no” to the requests of the other players.
And, it could be silly, but reasonable things like “Mother, may I take three steps ahead?” Or, “Mother, may I tie my shoes?” The point is that you have to ask for permission, and whoever the ‘Mother’ is will grant or deny you the permission to do whatever it is you ask.
It’s a childhood game, and there are several versions of it. But, here’s the reality for a lot of Mamas: we often turn our backs on ourselves, our hopes, our wishes, our dreams, and our health, while granting others access to our time, energy, and support.
I say “our” because at one point, I was guilty of all counts. I had spent years putting everything on the back burner. I had stopped giving myself permission to dream. I had began limiting myself ONLY to what I could do as mom and wife of my family.
And, please hear this: being a wife or partner AND mother are very important and extremely rewarding.
Before you stop reading, hear me out:
I understand there are seasons of marriage, relationships and motherhood. I understand that children who are five months require more of your time and attention versus children who are five years-old.
I understand life can get busy. I understand parenting becomes more challenging when there is one child versus four children.
I even realize the family structure looks completely different when coparenting versus having the ‘traditional’ family dynamic. I’m a coparent. (winks)
Interestingly enough, growing through divorce helped me to put my life into perspective. The dissolution of my marriage allowed me to repair my relationship with myself, and gain clarity about what I needed to give myself permission to do.
No, I’m not suggesting you leave your husband or partner to be able to live your best life. Hahaha.
But, here’s what I am empowering you to do: give yourself permission to rediscover YOU and to reclaim your identity outside of being a mother, wife, partner, entrepreneur, sister, daughter, etc.
Sis, you’re you.
You have purpose.
You have passion.
You have hobbies
You have dreams.
Give yourself permission to indulge in it, and fall madly in love with that thing you’ve wanted to do since you were a little girl without the bills, the babies, or the boys.
Give yourself permission to talk about things other than PTA meetings, baby shark videos, and potty training.
Give yourself permission to commit to a goal YOU want to accomplish and take one small step towards it every day, every week, or every month.
Give yourself permission to celebrate not only birthing those beautiful children, but birthing vision, purpose, and passion.
But, in all things, Mama, give yourself permission to embrace who you are as a WOMAN.
Don’t know where to start?
Not a problem. Let’s start with a conversation about WHO you are and WHERE you are on your journey. Get in touch with me at firstname.lastname@example.org.